Sep

Why You Are Causing Your Own Divorce

Filed Under divorce

Can this relationship be rescued? When you think about it, it looks almost impossible to do that. You might have a beloved who is reluctant to put any more effort on your marriage troubles. Or, do you wonder what are your chances of rescuing your marriage if your partner is an alcoholic or a drug addict?

Before we dive into the details of solving the specific issues with your marriage, it’s important for you to grasp the fundamental principles at a more macro level, so to speak. Instead of solving the question of whether you relationship can be rescued, you are going to be taught a knowledge that is much more important to your life and your relationship.

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Firstly, you must understand this: As long as you choose to remain in the marriage, there are things for you to learn. In general, you do not see what you yourself are doing wrong that can be harmful to the relationship, but you see clearly what your beloved is doing wrong (that is from your perspective). Until you learn about your part in the issue, you will bring your own dysfunctional behavior with you into another relationship. Unless those issues related to you are healed, there is really no escaping from your current troubles with the hope to find anotherrelationship that can suit you better. However, this does not mean you should tolerate any form of physical abuse. You should seriously think about leaving the relationship before you are physically harmed.

Learning from your marriage problems and evolving in your personal development is the real issue here. The core of the issue you need to solve is not really about the issues thrown at you by your marriage, but what you take from them. If you think that you simply have to accept the problems as fate for you to handle and work on your personal development, and there is just no way out even though you try all your best to make things better, don’t feel so down. There is a way out for you, and you are really in control of it!

If your partner still does things that are unacceptable to you, you need to ask yourself whether you depend on your partner for the happiness you seek in your relationship. If you consciously treat your partner and manage your relationship in ways that are loving and supportive to both your personal growth and development, and you successfully become a whole person that does not depend on your partner for your own joy in life, then you really are free to make a choice whether your partner is worth keeping. If there is nothing else you can learn from your marriage that can make you and your partner better persons, then there is really not much meaning in tolerating the emotional suffering that your lover brings to you. You need to take care of yourself, and this is not selfish because getting stuck in a vicious cycle can be detrimental to both of you.

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Am I suggesting that you only care about yourself and not be bothered by the problems faced by your lover? In fact, it is the contrary, because you are actually doing a counter-intuitive thing that cares for both you and your lover in the truly loving and supportive way. It’s just that you now know how to care without being attached to your partner’s issues that he/she needs to work on himself or herself.

Essentially, one of two things can happen. Either your partner does his or her own inner work and becomes more open, or your lover continues to ignore his or her own issues and your relationship becomes more distant and difficult. Do not be attached to the outcome that you desire your partner to act in the way that you want, even though you should try all your best to offer your support to your lover in working on himself or herself and in repairing your relationship.

I hope this article is helpful to you. Here is a website that contains my review of the best relationship problem advice products that I have come across: Best Rescue Relationship Guides.

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