Child Custody Advice - 2 Things You Must Know About the Custody Process What you don't know about family law can hurt you. Crucial child custody advice for anyone getting ready to go through family court. Breaking Up - How to Get Past the Pain of a Break Up Healing from a broken heart is tough. Most people only deal with it as it comes, however, there are steps you can take to heal your broken heart after a painful break up. Step-Family Perspective - Who's on the Inside? Who's on the Outside? Remember the movie, The Outsiders? It's about 2 teen-age rival gangs, The Greasers and The Socials. The story is told from the viewpoint of The Greasers. There are about a dozen Greasers who are all friends with each other. You Can Learn How to Win a Child Custody Case! Even if you don't have a lawyer, learning how to win a child custody case can be done! Just take the time to study and study and study some more! I Took Control and Was Able to Get Custody of My Children It was the best feeling in the world to get custody of my children! Now I want to help other parents feel this way! Dating After Divorce - Doing This Keeps Your Mind From Wandering While You're Dating After Divorce You want to enjoy your time out on a date, right? Be sure to follow this important step to make that a reality. Single Parent Dating Success There are many more single parents out there than ever before. More and more people are either choosing to remain single as parents or they are choosing to leave relationships that just do not provide what they need. This is not always a bad thing. We should keep our standards for our relationships high in our lives, even if we do have children. Everything You Need to Know About Child Support Child support refers to the obligations, following divorce, of a noncustodial parent towards the upkeep of the child. Find out everything you need to know about child support during divorce. Dating After Divorce - 3 Key Steps to Enjoying Dating Again After Divorce Dating after divorce causes anyone to have mixed emotions. Want to learn 3 key steps to enjoying yourself? Read on. Learn How to Get Child Custody Today It is possible to learn how to get child custody quickly! It takes strength and confidence, but it can be done! Parenting Plans - Holiday Time Details A good parenting plan is all about the details. Even when parents are cooperative about shared parenting, a detailed parenting plan is still essential to avoid confusion, misunderstandings and disputes in the future. Here are three questions about holiday time that every parenting plan should answer. Repent! The End is Near! Well, to be honest with you, the end is near whether or not you choose to repent: the end of the year 2008, that is. We humans have a particular affinity for the ending of things: like graduations and funerals (not that there's any other similarity between the two). Create a Post-Divorce Identity Changing your name is something we associate with getting married-should you keep your maiden name or take his name? But there's another LoveStage that deals with shifting monikers as well-getting divorced. If you took your husband's name when you married, you may want to slough off his name after the breakup. But what do you change it to? Men & Divorce - Help For Life After Marriage When it comes to men & divorce, help is not as easily available as you might think. Because of the mans traditional role as breadwinner society and the media especially tend to focus on the plight of the woman who often ends up with the kids as well and their financial difficulties and so on and so forth. After the Divorce - Make Your Life Better Ending a relationship can be one of the hardest things that people can go through. In fact, many people rate the experience as having a similar effect to the death of a loved one. Now that you have finally ended your marriage, you might be wondering what you can do in this situation. Why not work to make your life better? After a divorce you can choose to feel whatever it is that you want to feel. You Are Divorced - Now What Do You Do? Divorce is a pretty common situation. Somewhere around half of all marriages in the United States will wind up ending in divorce. Everyone knows many people that are divorced. The stigma that it may have held thirty years ago is not the same as today. Many people even wind up divorced several times over. Hopefully, that will not be you. Divorce Support For Parents - Successful Email Communication Many therapists recommend email communication for co parents. Writing an email can be non-threatening- if done properly. Included in this article is a step by step way to write a "Kid News" email. Child Focused New Year's Resolutions For Separated and Divorced Parents o what it takes to improve the quality of your parenting relationship by bettering your communication and interaction with your ex. Resolve to love and support your children by treating your ex with courtesy and respect, and by continually striving to be the superior parent. Getting Your Friend Through a Divorce in Better Shape Than Britney Spears You had a feeling it was coming, and now it's here-your friend is getting divorced. Whether your divorcing friend is a guy or a gal, the Rx for getting back to normal is the same. The first rule is to help them avoid the mistakes Britney made. I Want My Husband Back - Making Up Success I have helped many people to rekindle there love, and there are some basics that all woman who have lost there husbands, from some form or another need to understand, and have awareness of before there is any attempt to make up with there missing husband. There are many ladies who are searching for "I want my husband back" and have lost there men for many different reasons. And I am sure that many of you are truly hurting very much, and do feel like your life, as you planned it has been turned up side down. Child Custody - How to Win by Being Prepared How to win a child custody battle is something that I imagine would weigh heavily on a parent's mind during a divorce process. Who could blame you? Your children are the most important thing in the world to you, and it is only natural you would want to ensure that your children are not taken away. Top 3 Reasons to Stop Pining Over Your Ex Advice on healing after a marriage or relationship ends. How to heal a broken heart, get over your ex and move on with your life. How to be happy after divorce or a breakup. How to Spend Your Time When Your Child is Visiting the Other Parent? While counselors keep stressing about making a divorce as smooth as possible for a child, they forget that sometimes parents also need help. This is especially true when the child goes to visit the other parent and the custodial parent is left alone at home. For most custodial parents it is difficult to handle the situation when children go to visit the other parent. I Want My Wife Back Desperately! Become the Better Man What makes it the hardest the most to get an ex back, which is built genuine love! Is getting threw those emotions! No1 on the get your ex back information is all about being the positive person that they fell in love with... Being that other person is the best thing I could have ever learned! Parenting After Divorce - Let Mediation Help You Navigate the Waters When Children Want to Move No matter how carefully you worked out your parenting plan, older children often decide they want to change the parent they live with. Children may have a wide variety of reasons for wanting to make a change. Co-Parenting in Divorce Many parents who are contemplating divorce are worried about the impact it might have on their children. This would explain why many people end up either delaying their divorce or not divorcing at all. It goes without saying that children are affected by divorce but both parents have to take steps to lessen the impact on the children. How to Cope With Angry Children After a Divorce If you have just survived an ugly divorce, you know that you could still lose as your ex-spouse could end up alienating your children. One of the best ways to alienate children from the other parent is through lying and exaggerating the other parent's mistakes and faults. Letting Go of Your Anger After a Divorce It is natural to feel angry after a divorce. However, you should realize the anger will have a negative effect on your children. This is especially true when you still continue fighting and arguing with your spouse after the divorce. Letting go of your anger after divorce is important for the emotional well-being of your children. Visitation Recommendations For Children Under the Age of Three An infant's basic needs are food, sleep and physical contact. However, when you are divorced, you want the infant to be able to recognize you as the parent. This is only possible if there are frequent visitations as then the infant will be able to recognize your face and voice. Plan For Parenting During Holidays After a Divorce Parenting after a divorce can be quite tough and more so when holidays are at hand with both parents wanting the child to spend time with each of them. However, you can avoid all the stress of parenting during holidays after a divorce by making a parenting plan so that holidays go smoothly for the child and you. Staying in Touch With the In-Laws After Your Divorce Those sticky emotions that bubble and boil when you get a divorce sometimes form themselves into a type of revenge toward your mother-in-law who doesn't deserve it. Don't keep your kids from her. There are way too many blessings in fostering their relationship. Dating Advice For Divorced Women It's an interesting world we live in, and for divorced women, it can become even more interesting, and they may actually need dating advice in order to succeed in the dating world today. Dating advice for divorced women can be found in a variety of different ways. As a divorced woman, it can be difficult to pick up the pieces and think about dating again. Handling Visitation When You're Divorced I'm afraid way too many dads take a hit when it comes to getting visitation. It's entirely possible that their previous behavior earned them what their wives are dishing out now. It's also possible that their previous behavior was not deserving of what their wives are now dishing out. Factors in Custody Cases Child custody is always a tricky subject. It can be difficult to say that one parent should have sole custody over a child or that the custody should be divided in a certain way. In fact, there is nothing easy when it comes to figuring out custody of a child or children. Learn How to Get Child Custody Judges have a basic list of criteria that is used in child custody cases to determine what is in the best interest of the child. Each parent is "graded" so to speak on each criterion on the list. The parent who fares better and has the best interest of the child/children at heart will likely be awarded custody of the children. Learn how to how to get child custody right here. Cross check your your family's lives and behaviors with the criteria used by family courts, and find your answer. Disconnected Exes I'm still amazed how often people who have been divorced, even for a long time, talk so poorly about their exes. They remember details as clearly as if it was yesterday. But it wasn't, it was 10 years ago! Friendless After Divorce? Divorce has many undesirable side effects. Whatever you had, you seem to lose. First you lose your spouse's love and affection. Then you lose respect for one other. Next is the house, the car-even the kids. Sometimes it feels like you could lose your sanity. Custody Evaluations - 5 Steps to Optimizing Your Presentation A custody evaluations is a nerve wracking and challenging experience. However, there are effective ways to get through it and succeed in making your case. Here are 5 steps to presenting your case for custody in the best light possible. Divorce - How to Prevent a Repeat Many people going through divorce experience confusion about their identity. Who are you now? Confusion about where you are going. Confusion about what to do next. Should Parents That Run Off With the Child Gain an Advantage in Child Custody Proceedings? There is nothing more important to parents than the well being of their children. The thought of having one's children taken from them is emotionally crippling. In realization of the importance of the parent-child relationship, our legal system requires a hearing before allowing the custodial parent to change residences in a way that will significantly decrease the amount of time the non-custodial parent has with the child. Overcome Love Lost At some point in everyone's life, the sting of a breakup will come. However, a breakup doesn't have to be an ongoing issue. You can end the hurt at any given moment of your choosing. You and I both know that you will someday no longer feel the hurt you are currently experiencing, so why wait until then to feel better? What makes you continue to choose to dwell on your circumstances? I believe I can help. Life After Divorce For Men Life after divorce for men and women alike can be very difficult to manage especially if it has been a long marriage where both had come to rely on the other for support and help in so many small things they do not realize until they are separated. Men however get the short end of the stick partly because of their own nature and partly because of the media and industry focus on the women after a divorce that is seen as hard done by and in dire need of emotional and financial help. Ex-Family Reunion - Ponderings From an Ex-Wife An ex-wife tells about feeling awkward in the presence of her ex-husband even six years after their divorce. So much has changed, but for the better. The wounds have healed and they have both moved on with their lives. Each has a new place of belonging, yet she wonders if they ever belonged together to begin with. Do You Want Your Ex Back? 5 Useful Tips to Help Anyone in life wants someone to love and to share his/her life with. If you found that one, Smile and be thankful for the blessing, feel how special you are that you found that one, and make an inspiring power of that to do anything you want in life. Remarriage - Why Wait? Here's Why I was recently asked about the statistic I quote about remarriages having the greatest chance for success when both partners have been divorced for at least 2 years and then date for 2 years. I'm the first to admit that is a long time, but I was bothered by some of the comments this question received and decided to address them further. Online Dating After Divorce - A Man's Guide to Seeking Women, Finding Love, Getting Married Again You say you are looking for your next long term relationship - this time a really great lifelong partnership - but you are horny and you want to get laid - soon. STOP! That attitude is NOT going to lead you to a great long term relationship. Bank the fires of lust long enough to search consciously for someone with whom you are truly compatible. What About the Husband After Divorce? Is it just me, or does the husband after divorce get then short end of the stick from family law, media attention and post divorce support? Women after divorce have gained a lot of attention from law, government and media allowing them a huge amount of support and the statistics have shown that most women initiate divorce and most women also cope better after divorce. What I find amazing is that the other part of those statistics, the husband, is hardly mentioned at all except to occupy the rest of a pie graph! Husbands After Divorce - The Forgotten People In a time where marriages are failing and divorce rates skyrocket the media has descended like vultures to show hard luck stories about bad divorces to add drama and sensationalism to their newspapers and television shows, but from this some good things come with increased support for the divorces and more understanding for children and women going through then pain of marital separation. Husbands after divorce whoever are nowhere to be seen in this media mess with no focus and hardly any support from the community which has led to a vast number of divorced men with serious problems. Divorce Support For Men - Dealing With Divorce and Separation With the statistics showing that divorce is at an all time high the level of support for divorcees has skyrocketed to help people get through this very difficult time in their lives and find a way to move on. Unfortunately that level of support is extremely skewed to help women, not men dealing with divorce! So with divorce support for men so low what does a man after divorce do? Or perhaps more importantly what should they not do! Men After Divorce - Advice For Men Struggling to Cope While we have reams and reams of statistics about divorce and especially about women and divorce there is a sad lack of knowledge or even acknowledgment of what happens to men after divorce. While no one seems to want to deal with the emotions of men, especially other men it seems there is a growing problem with men not dealing with post divorce life because of a lack of support, understanding and care by the community. Divorce - Don't Deny the Hurt Divorce tests your emotional health, your belief in people, and your hope for a good future. Too often people talk themselves into a way they ought to feel, which isn't what's really true. That can be dangerous. Joint Custody For Parents - Is it a Win Win Situation? Raising children is not the easiest task on earth, but going through a divorce, and dealing with joint custody for parents can be very taxing for all concerned. It takes very mature parents to deal with the issues of joint custody, but it can be very worthwhile when done properly. Dating After Divorce - Want to Enjoy Yourself? Be Sure You Do This Dating is all about having fun and getting to know people, but what if you're miserable? Be sure to take this important step once you begin dating after divorce. Family Law Attorney - Going Through a Support Hearing Raising children can be both rewarding and challenging. It can be very rewarding to watch your children grow and develop throughout their lifetimes. It can be very challenging, however, to see them through this development. Ease Your Way Back Into Dating After Divorce Most people would wait for life to get back to normal; others would jump right in-even if the ink on their divorce papers hasn't completely dried out yet. Missing the companionship of the opposite sex is usually the reason why people start dating again. But, if it's been a while since you have dated, the need to jump start your old dating skills is quite necessary. Dating after divorce can both be daunting and exhilarating. Re-Discovering Who You Are After a Divorce How does one weather the storms of a divorce when you feel as if all your nuts and bolts have been shaken loose, and you've run out of answers for all those questions from your family and friends? You deserve some reflective time to figure yourself out and snuggle into your highest sense of what that means to you. Building a New Life After Divorce Divorce can leave a person devastated and broken. It is a major, life-changing event that could shatter your heart into pieces. Accepting the fact that everything just isn't the same anymore, especially for those who didn't see it coming, may be a little too hard. Get Your Ex Wife Back Those sleepless nights, endless hopes and ceaseless longing; these are the exact scenes and emotions the moment marriage knots has been untied and getting back to ones feet does not seem to come easily. Husbands might be dealing with life harder than what they likely to project but a man's emotional state are undeniably apparent specifically if half of his so called life has been taken away the moment her wife steps out of the picture. Get Your Ex Husband Back Are you starting to regret having split up with your husband? Well it's not too late yet - unless he already has a new girlfriend, worse, a wife. Well, if you can why not try to find out first if he's still available though? Once you get that over with then you can focus on making yourself over. While of course looking great is a part of it, it's more important for you to start focusing on making over your personality. Minor Children Can Suffer From Parents Who Don't Want to Pay Child Support! Do you fully understand Rhode Island Child Support? Well, there may be some problematic issues that you're not aware of. These issues can cause you thousands of dollars and tremendous frustration. Read this article and learn what most people don't know before it happens to you. How to Get Back Together - The Guide You've spent a long time with your significant other, you love each other's company, and then the inevitable happens: you break up. When you've gone through the sleepless nights, and consoling from friends, you finally decide to get back together with your ex. There's only one bit of a problem: you are not sure how to do it and if things will work out this time. Getting Past Your Divorce - How to Emerge As a Strong Woman After Going Through a Painful Divorce Have you just gone through a painful breakup and ended your relationship? Read on to find out how to get past the pain and move on with your life, to live the life you have always intended to live. Surviving Divorce - Your Life After One of the more difficult times in a relationship, particularly in marriage, is a major falling out. I have heard a lot of stories about relationships turning for the worse, seeking the legal remedy of divorce. Most of the stories are painful, even bordering on the violent. Surviving divorce is indeed a challenge. Thoughts on His Ex Who knows your ex better than you? Wouldn't that also mean that your new man's ex knows him better than you do? Rising Above It - Mending From a Divorce A divorce can be devastating. You wonder if you can get over it when the pain is so overwhelming. Can you rise above it? Can you mend your "brokenness?" How to Counter Bad Effects of Divorce Divorce means a lot of stress for the parties involved. In a divorce all, especially the children, are laying face down to anxiety, irritation, unhappiness and aggression. Your child can suffer from one or all of these effects of divorce. 5 Ways to Get Over a Break Up Fast! If you are in desperate need to get over a break up fast then there are five things you must do to expedite the process. Provided you're clear in your own mind that you don't want to get back with your ex or there are circumstances which will prevent you from doing this, then we give you some must do tips in this article. Breaking up happens everyday. How Do I Get My Wife Back After Separation If you feel that your relationship has already reached an end, then you should think twice. Any break up can still be mended as long as you are willing enough to make it work. This is applicable to any relationship, even marriage. Thus, if you are wondering on how do I get my wife back after separation, then this article can help you out. Becoming Whole After the Loss of a Mate For Widows and Divorcees After you have experienced a death or divorce, eventually you will ask yourself where you go from here. To answer that question, you'll need to take a critical look at your life up to now as an objective observer. Being whole or in balance does not mean that life will not throw challenges your way. Is Living Together a Good Foundation For Marriage? A man and a woman who were viewed as husband and wife were used to fighting right in front of their children, and this has gone a long way to affect the life of their children who were just growing, so the fighting has called for attention of the public, because they always fight has people who were just forced to marry each other. All these was caused because they had fail to heed to the bible counsel of getting married before a man and a woman of can live together has husband and wife. Step Families - 4 Things to Be Thankful For About Your Step Family It's easy to get caught up in the negatives of step family life. Learn 4 important aspects to be thankful for. Step-Children and Divorce - Parenting Plans For Blended Families What happens to your relationship with your step-children after your divorce from their parent? This is a hard question to answer because the lines are so blurry. Mediation can help. Dating After a Divorce Can Be Difficult, and May Require a Little Assistance But for multitude of reasons that doesn't always happen; as a matter of fact, more than 50% of marriages end in divorce. So don't be too hard on yourself. Your focus should almost immediately be the future. You say yeah but I have all of this baggage now. Emotionally, I doubt myself and feel like a failure deep inside. I have a few (or more) extra pounds on me that that limit my physical confidence. Benefits of Hiring a Child Custody Lawyer It is important that each parent works with an individual attorney who will protect that person's rights. Sometimes, the children even need to have their own attorney involved to make sure their best interests are taken into consideration. Preparing For Remarriage - The Wedding Date is Too Close to Make Changes Now - Really? As the wedding date approaches, are you feeling wedding jitters or ignored red flags nagging at you? It's important to figure out which one it is and deal with it accordingly. Learn how... Get My Ex Back - The Olive Branch Short informational look at a very offbeat way of helping to get back a loved one and helping the environment at the same time. This is probably the most unique "peace offering" available today - anywhere! Help For Separated and Divorced Parents - Mediation, Parent Coordination & Co-Parent Counseling If you are a separated or divorced parent with a child under the age of 18, you need to communicate with your child's other parent. Even though you are no longer living together, and, in some cases, especially because you are no longer living together, conflicts about your children (minor ones and major ones) may arise with greater frequency. Co-parenting professionals can help you develop the new skills you need. Advice on Child Custody Child custody is a major affair that is to be dealt carefully during the divorce procedure. There are two types of child custody, sole custody and joint custody. After a Weekend With Your Ex When your kids arrive home after a weekend with their other parent, it's unkind to submit them to a Q&A session. They are so uncomfortable when they know that you no longer love their daddy or mommy. They still love them. They don't understand why you divorced him. Surviving Divorce - Your Life After One of the more difficult times in a relationship, particularly in marriage, is a major falling out. I have heard a lot of stories about relationships turning for the worse, seeking the legal remedy of divorce. Most of the stories are painful, even bordering on the violent. Surviving divorce is indeed a challenge. Child Custody Laws Normally, the judge deciding child custody matters will consider the parents' wishes, the child's wishes, the relationship of the child to his siblings or others with whom he has contact, the child's likely adjustment to home, school, and community, and the mental and physical health of all individuals involved. The judge will also consider any past acts of domestic violence. How to Find a Divorce Recovery Group in Your Area If you have been through a divorce or if you are in the middle of a divorce and would like support, why not check out a Divorce Recovery group? More and more Divorce Recovery groups are being offered across the country. You may not know where to look for them or wonder what a Divorce Recovery group is? This article will help give you ideas of where and how to look for a Divorce Recovery group in your area. Getting Your Wife Back - How Can I Get My Wife Back? Heartache and pain accompany any break up. Everyone deserves happiness. No one deserves loneliness What Steps Can I Take to Win My Wife Back? Father's Rights - Protecting Children During Separation and Divorce Too many children are abused, sexually assaulted, or murdered by custodial mom's new boyfriend or husband. And in many of these tragedies, the biological father is being denied visitation with the children. Visitation which could reveal the abuse. Visitation which the child could reveal what's happening. Be Good to Yourself After a Divorce Shortly after I left my husband of twenty-one years, I found myself bending over the bathroom sink staring into the mirror trying to use sewing scissors to trim my nose hairs. Now, you might think first and foremost how horrible for a woman to admit she must trim her nose hairs-but if you've been married for twenty-one years, you probably have a few to trim too! Such is marriage: you become so close to one another, you don't even notice that you share deodorant and nail or nose hair clippers. Father's Rights - When Should You Change Custody? One of the most frequent questions that fathers have is when should they try to get custody of the kids back? Do they have to wait a certain period of time? Do they have to prove mom is "unfit" to get custody? When can they go to court for their children? When is the right time to enforce a father's rights? Why Summer Is Important For Fathers Without Custody Fathers who do not have custody of their children need to enforce their visitation rights over the summer. Not seeing their kids over the summer can weaken the relationship the kids have for dad. Sometimes court intervention is necessary to force visitation to occur. Dads should be prepared when they have to go to court. How to Be an Involved Parent AFTER the Divorce Or Breakup When a couple with children divorces or breaks up, too many times, the parent who doesn't have custody of the children becomes a visitor in his or her children's lives. But the parent without custody does have parenting rights and a visitation schedule, and rights to see school and health records. Here is how to remain active in your child's life, even if you aren't in their primary home. Making Sure You (Dad Without Custody) Can Still Attend Teacher Meetings and Sporting Events When you are a father without custody of your children, one of the most frustrating aspects is missing out on your kid's sporting events, schooling, and special events. Especially when custodial mother gives you the information way too late or not at all. This article discusses a few ways to guarantee you will be informed of the schedules, well in advance. Stop Parental Alienation Syndrome Before it Gets a Chance to Start Parental-Alienation Syndrome is the tragic situation where a custodial parent literally brainwashes a child into fearing and hating the non-custodial parent, for no good reason. This article stresses the importance of FIGHTING this horrible attempt by the custodial parent to poison the mind of the child. Getting Your Wife Back - How Can I Get My Wife Back? Heartache and pain accompany any break up. Everyone deserves happiness. No one deserves loneliness What Steps Can I Take to Win My Wife Back? How to Get Along With Your Ex Getting along with your X can be a battle ground or a piece of heaven. It's really your choice. If you want to know how to get along with your X simply follow a few simple guidelines and not only get along with your X but also live with yourself and be happy! Divorce - How to Live in the Present Moment Divorced people often find it tough to let go of the past. Instead of re-living the past or predicting the future, here are some tips for living powerfully in the present moment. Does an Ex Ruin Your Life Or Open Opportunities For a New Start? In the days and months following a bad break up, it seems as if your ex is doing everything they can to ruin your life. And you are extra sensitive to all the little things that can push your buttons. After all, who knows you better than your ex? Dating Advice For Women - I'm Sort of Seeing This Guy - The Undefined Relationship Have you ever found yourself "sort of" seeing a man? The term usually means that your relationship status is undefined. Sometimes it's about not being sure. Sometimes it about a man's unwillingness to commit. Find out how my dating coaching client decided to handle this frustrating situation to guard her heart and date smart. Six Ways to Get Past Your Resistance to Getting Started on the Dating Journey You've been divorced for a while now, maybe a year, maybe a lot longer. Friends have asked you what you are doing to meet men, but you calmly reply, "Not much." And that's OK, for a while. Not that everyone must have a new relationship. I understand how it's not for everyone. Passing Up the Poison For Single Parents - Take Back Your Personal Power Electrical power is one thing. Personal power can be even more important. Today, we cover one of the most difficult areas of struggle for individuals - dealing with what others say about us and to us. Get My Wife Back, And Make Our Marriage Better! Making Up Success You never know what you have got until you loose it, a very old saying that we tend to take no notice of until its almost to late. When you know that you truly love your wife, you an gain extra good healthy courage to look in the mirror and work what is required to make your marriage great. Divorce and Children - How to Limit Its Effects When adults make mistakes or bad decisions, it always seems to be the children who suffer the most. This is especially true in situations where couples with children decide that their life together is unbearable and cannot be fixed, leaving divorce as the only solution. Divorce - How to Prevent a Repeat Many people going through divorce experience confusion about their identity. Who are you now? Confusion about where you are going. Confusion about what to do next.
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Divorced Dads Tips: What To Do When Mom Claims Visitation / Access Disrupts The Kids Routines By Danny DISCLAIMER: The following is NOT legal advice, nor is it a substitute for legal advice. If you are in Family Court you will need legal advice, so please see a lawyer.
Being denied visitation time with your children when you separate and /or is the # one frustration that all divorced dads share in common. Here's a common story that I was recently told by one father:
I have access every weekend with my son, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, but last week the judge decided to make it every other weekend so that the mother can spend time with my son. She never had weekends before but pleaded for it on compassionate grounds and the judge gave it to her.
She really had no basis for this from my perspective and I was very disappointed. The new schedule is very disruptive. What can be done?
Compensatory access. It is basically saying how are you going to make it up to me that my child has lost with me that they are currently benefiting from.? You need to think long and hard about this.
The next suggestion I have in this situation is to have realistic expectations. Having a child every weekend is a very unusual situation for any divorced dad. However if you have that order, recognize it can be and likely will be changed if Mom seeks such an order.
Flexibility is called for. For example, your approach may have been: "Well, you know what? I can understand how she might want some time! What we need to do here is look at the current schedule our son should not lose the time he has with me. Here's why?
Then stress benefits, benefits, benefit to the child. The Judge does not care about your losing time, but they will care about what your child loses if you can make a clear, convincing, compelling case that persuades the Judge about what the child gains in being with you.
For example: Here is how I am involved in his life and here are all the benefits to him. She wants once a weekend. That is fine. What will our son get in return for that weekend he is losing with me?"
Do you see the difference in how the situation is being expressed?
It is being expressed from the child's perspective, NOT yours. That's where the most powerful evidence exists in such matters.
BUT, for some divorced dads, you'll need to practice seeing and expressing things in this new way. It takes some training of your natural reactions and skills to articulate a situation that does not naturally come to most people.
That's because most people describe their circumstances in terms of how affects them. In custody and access / child visitation matters, Family Court Judges are directed to decide why anything being asked for by a parent is best for the child, not the parent.
If you go and watch what goes on in your local Family Court, you will see this principle in action again and again.
Do just that! Go watch how Judges decide things, and figure out how you can position yourself within your situation so a Judge sees it and automatically reaches
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for the same solution you are seeking.
Understand that Family Court is an institution that is very predictable, but that there are exceptions that you see again and again when they arise.
The only way to learn about that is to go and watch the action on days when motions are held, and mom, dad and their lawyers present evidence and argue for temporary orders.
After doing this for several days, you will see things with a fresh set of eyes. You will be amazed at what you learn in a very short space of time and how that will affect your choices and instructions to your lawyer.
My final suggestion is this: Life is often unfair. Family Court is one place where we see unfairness often. However, if you ONLY go to learn about Family Court, the day you have a hearing scheduled, you won't learn much.
That's because you'll be too nervous, worried, concerned and afraid of what's to come. Preparation will address these issues and help you to begin seeing what a Judge sees.
If you do this you will hold an advantage in the situation. And isn't that what you really want?
Be fair with yourself and put the time in or face the consequences and costs of poor decisions and choices based on a total lack of knowledge about how Family Court operates.
In the final analysis, this is the most important set of choices you'll ever make for your children. Shouldn't you do that based on facts that you've confirmed about Family Court, instead of guessing?
I'm sure you know the answer. I encourage you to get going. Learn everything you can about these matters Don't just complain about unfairness, TAKE ACTION to optimize your chances of success.
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