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Deciding On Divorce ........
By Michael Sanford, Fri Dec 9th

Deciding on is a big decision. You should understandthat you aren't a bad person just because you think you want adivorce. Your spouse is not automatically a bad person becausehe/she may be causing you to feel this way (or so you maythink), you're just people, plain and simple.

The Mindset You Need To Make This Difficult Decision You'rereading this for a reason...because you have been thinking aboutdivorce for one reason or another. Being in "limbo" is ahorrible feeling because you can't really get rooted if you arein limbo...all you know is that you aren't happy and don't knowwhat to do.

You may feel stuck in a rut or feel like you are wanderingaimlessly. Whatever the case, not being certain of what willhappen can be tough to swallow and only contributes to yourbeing unhappy. Another reason that this is usually a tumultuousand arduous time for people who are in this stage of lifebecause it usually involves self reflection and a heightenedawareness that may never have been reached before in your life.

This can be most difficult and scary, but I assure you it ishealthy in the long run. When doing this "inward reflection",you may find out some things about yourself that you may notlike. You may recall some things you had forgotten. You mayrealize that this isn't all your fault or you may realize thatyou had a hand in leading yourself here too. Whatever happensfrom here on in, your mindset has to be conducive to beingbrutally honest to yourself.

Since this can be a gut-wrenching time in your life, youabsolutely must realize that one serious danger you face ismaking the mistake of not being fully aware that people don'tmake clear decisions during heightened emotional times. You mustremember that emotion clouds judgment and bad decisions are madewhen the wrong side of your brain produces something by usingemotion rather than intellect. This cannot be stressedenough...when making any decision or thinking deeply about aconcept, make certain that you are logical and impartial to thebest of your ability. You must be comfortable with finding flawswithin yourself and realizing that those are flaws that youagree with. You must be ready to admit self guilt and selffault, or this won't work.

If you are thinking about ending your marriage, or arecurrently in the process, the most important thing youneed to do is accept responsibility for the outcome of yourdivorce. Because a woman's standard of living generally drops atleast 30% after a divorce, the decisions that you make now canhave a considerable effect on your future.

It is wise to establish a plan of action instead of going intoyour blindly. Begin by being well informed and organizedwith the Record Keeper, a comprehensive divorceconsiderations help guide. This resource will enable you to keeptrack and record everything about your from start tofinish in a easy to reference fashion.

If it is inevitable that your marriage will end, utilize thefollowing considerations to protect yourself. Mostimportantly, if your spouse has initiated proceedings, do notsign anything until you are represented and informed by alawyer. Also, do not use the same lawyer that is representingyour spouse. Retain your own attorney to level the playing fieldand have fair representation.

The actual

Flat Fee Divorce: Is This an Option You Should Consider?
I don't encourage anyone to divorce. From my experience divorce doesn't solve problems, it only adds to the problems you already have. In some cases a marriage is so far beyond repair, a few extra problems post divorce is no reason to stay. What do you do in today's economy where money is short and problems can seem overwhelming? Find yourself a Flat Fee Attorney. Instead of <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/divorceattorneys/qt/divorcelawyershub.htm">hiring an attorney</a> who charges a retainer fee and high hourly rates, hire one who will take care of the divorce process, from beginning to end for one flat fee. When to Use a Flat Fee Attorney: <ul> <li>When there is low conflict between spouses. And, nothing is better than decreasing conflict that saving money on a divorce. If your spouse seems unwilling to negotiate issues like<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/childsupportresources/f/childsupport.htm"> child support</a> and the <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/propertydistribution/ht/divagreement.htm">division of marital assets</a> suggesting a flat fee attorney may cause him/her to become more willing to negotiate.</li> <li>Couples who want to spend less time in court and on the <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/thedivorceprocess/ss/divorceprocess.htm">divorce process</a> benefit by hiring their own, individual flat fee attorney. You can negotiate the legal issues have your attorneys make sure your legal rights are protected, draw up the paperwork, file it with the courts and you are done.</li> </ul> If you are bent and determined to divorce but can't handle those high legal fees check out a local flat fee attorney and get on with solving all those problems you'll face post-divorce.<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/03/10/flat-fee-divorce-is-this-an-option-you-should-consider.htm">Flat Fee Divorce: Is This an Option You Should Consider?</a> originally appeared on <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/">About.com Divorce Support</a> on Wednesday, March 10th, 2010 at 17:35:59.<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/03/10/flat-fee-divorce-is-this-an-option-you-should-consider.htm">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/03/10/flat-fee-divorce-is-this-an-option-you-should-consider.htm#gB3">Comment</a> | <a href="http://divorcesupport.about.com/gi/pages/shareurl.htm?PG=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/03/10/flat-fee-divorce-is-this-an-option-you-should-consider.htm&zItl=Flat Fee Divorce: Is This an Option You Should Consider?">Email this</a>
Is Avoidant Personality Disorder a Defense Mechanism That Land You in Divorce Court?
The person with <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://socialanxietydisorder.about.com/od/eatingdisorders/a/avoidant.htm">Avoidant Personality Disorder</a> is extremely sensitive to what others think about them. So sensitive that they suffer severe <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://panicdisorder.about.com/">anxiety </a>at the thought of saying or doing the wrong thing. Most are people pleasers who bend over backwards to make others happy. The give and give and give until they have nothing left to give. In my experience, it is someone with Avoidant Personality Disorder who is more likely to experience a <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/isdivorcethesolution/f/midlifecrisis.htm">Midlife Crisis</a>. Below are the symptoms of Avoidant Personality Disorder and an example of each behavior. <ul> <li>Must Be Well Liked: This person does not become involved with others unless they know they are held in high esteem. An example, Jane is a fantastic cook. She takes <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://chinesefood.about.com/od/cookingschools/tp/cookingclass.htm">cooking classes</a> and delivers meals to people in need. The problem, if it doesn't have something to do with cooking Jane doesn't become involved. She only puts herself in a position to be around others who praise her and she knows, with her cooking she will always receive praise. Jane spends a lot of time alone...in her kitchen.</li> <li>Not Open to Intimate Relationships: This person <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/isdivorcethesolution/qt/intimacy_fear.htm">fears rejection</a> or ridicule by someone they've become romantically...<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/isdivorcethesolution/a/avoidantpersonality.htm">post continued</a></li> </ul><a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/03/07/is-avoidant-personality-disorder-a-defense-mechanism-that-land-you-in-divorce-court.htm">Is Avoidant Personality Disorder a Defense Mechanism That Land You in Divorce Court?</a> originally appeared on <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/">About.com Divorce Support</a> on Sunday, March 7th, 2010 at 08:00:40.<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/03/07/is-avoidant-personality-disorder-a-defense-mechanism-that-land-you-in-divorce-court.htm">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/03/07/is-avoidant-personality-disorder-a-defense-mechanism-that-land-you-in-divorce-court.htm#gB3">Comment</a> | <a href="http://divorcesupport.about.com/gi/pages/shareurl.htm?PG=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/03/07/is-avoidant-personality-disorder-a-defense-mechanism-that-land-you-in-divorce-court.htm&zItl=Is Avoidant Personality Disorder a Defense Mechanism That Land You in Divorce Court?">Email this</a>
Buidling Trust Through Marital Communication
Do you keep things from your spouse, not communicate for fear of being rejected or dismissed? You can't bond appropriately with your spouse if you are not willing to open up and allow them to know you, to get close to you and who you are. Trust comes from allowing your spouse to know you inside and out and your spouse reciprocating. Communication is an important way to relieve stress and build a healthier bond between couples. If you don't feel comfortable <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=communicating with your spouse">communicating with your spouse</a> this could be a sign that you feel a lack of trust in your spouse. A marriage can't survive where there are issues of trust. Few marriages avoid <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/isdivorcethesolution/u/family_issues.htm#s1">marital problems</a> that violate trust. If you are married, you will have marital problems. The key to working through and maintaining a healthy level of trust is...<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/signsyourmarriageisover/qt/communication_trust.htm">post continued</a><a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/03/05/buidling-trust-through-marital-communication.htm">Buidling Trust Through Marital Communication</a> originally appeared on <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/">About.com Divorce Support</a> on Friday, March 5th, 2010 at 16:12:20.<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/03/05/buidling-trust-through-marital-communication.htm">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/03/05/buidling-trust-through-marital-communication.htm#gB3">Comment</a> | <a href="http://divorcesupport.about.com/gi/pages/shareurl.htm?PG=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/03/05/buidling-trust-through-marital-communication.htm&zItl=Buidling Trust Through Marital Communication">Email this</a>
Setting Boundaries With The Midlife Crisis Spouse
The concept of "boundaries," what they are and how to implement them can be confusing. I remember having a Home Economics teacher in High School who told the class that when you marry, you and your spouse become one. Even at 17 years old I knew there was no way I could "become one" with another human being. That I had a sense of self and giving up that would be detrimental emotionally. Often in marriage the lines are skewed, one spouse's sense of self becomes entangled with that of their spouse. It is easy to lose sight of what is oneself and what isn't oneself. In other words, couples tend to take on responsibilities for the other that are not theirs to take on. They become enmeshed emotionally and there are no boundaries that protect each from the other's hurtful behavior. Below Are A Few Suggestions For Setting Boundaries With Your Midlife Crisis Spouse: <ul> <li>Your spouse is an individual who takes responsibility for his/her own behaviors. Once you define what you are responsible for and what he/she is responsible for you no longer have to own anyone's behaviors but your own.</li> For example, if your midlife crisis spouse is drinking heavily and allowing it to interfere his/her ability to work it is not your responsibility to cover for him/her. When a spouse goes through a midlife crisis it is easy to enable their bad behavior by...<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/isdivorcethesolution/qt/boundaries_midlifecrisis.htm">continue post</a></ul><a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/03/01/setting-boundaries-with-the-midlife-crisis-spouse.htm">Setting Boundaries With The Midlife Crisis Spouse</a> originally appeared on <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/">About.com Divorce Support</a> on Monday, March 1st, 2010 at 22:22:33.<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/03/01/setting-boundaries-with-the-midlife-crisis-spouse.htm">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/03/01/setting-boundaries-with-the-midlife-crisis-spouse.htm#gB3">Comment</a> | <a href="http://divorcesupport.about.com/gi/pages/shareurl.htm?PG=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/03/01/setting-boundaries-with-the-midlife-crisis-spouse.htm&zItl=Setting Boundaries With The Midlife Crisis Spouse">Email this</a>
How to Survive Your Spouse's Midlife Crisis
Some people manage to navigate a midlife crisis, learn from it and move on to a more rewarding life. Then there are those who turn into a person you don't know, take up with another man/woman and inflict enormous pain on their family. Whether your spouse works through their midlife crisis without doing much harm or turns into a bull in a china shop and destroys everything, they will go through changes. Changes that will leave you confused and wondering what you can do to help yourself and your spouse and hopefully save your marriage. This article is about helping yourself survive your spouse's midlife crisis. If it helps your spouse, great. If it saves your marriage, great. The only way you are going to be of any help to your spouse or possibly save your marriage is to learn how you can navigate their crisis without it costing you too much emotionally. <a href="http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/isdivorcethesolution/a/protection_spouses_midlifecrisis.htm">Focus On Yourself And Your Children:</a> It may seem impossible to not try to control your spouse's actions during a midlife crisis. You aren't doing your spouse or yourself any favor when you become obsessed with what they are doing or thinking. You have no control over what your spouse does or doesn't do. You do, however have complete control over what you do or don't do. So, take my advice and focus on things that are within your control. If you are over-thinking your spouse's problems, you are filling your head with...<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/isdivorcethesolution/a/surv_midlife.htm">post continued</a><a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/28/how-to-survive-your-spouses-midlife-crisis.htm">How to Survive Your Spouse's Midlife Crisis</a> originally appeared on <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/">About.com Divorce Support</a> on Sunday, February 28th, 2010 at 22:13:55.<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/28/how-to-survive-your-spouses-midlife-crisis.htm">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/28/how-to-survive-your-spouses-midlife-crisis.htm#gB3">Comment</a> | <a href="http://divorcesupport.about.com/gi/pages/shareurl.htm?PG=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/28/how-to-survive-your-spouses-midlife-crisis.htm&zItl=How to Survive Your Spouse's Midlife Crisis">Email this</a>
Benny Hinn to Divorce
Benny Hinn a well-known televangelist has been served with divorce papers by his wife of 30 years, Suzanne. Papers were filed February 1, in Orange County Superior Court. The Hinns have been married for thirty years and have three daughters and one son. According to his <a href="http://www.bennyhinn.org/aboutus/articledesc.cfm?id=1386" target="_parent">website</a>, Pastor Hinn is an advocate of the "Prosperity Gospel" in which supporters believe that faith works as a power of force. That through faith they can obtain anything they want...health, wealth and personal success. According to Pastor Hinn if a person expresses their faith by "sowing" a sufficient monetary seed into his ministry, the person will be granted divine healing and wealth. Pastor Hinn has prospered, so much so that Senator Charles Grassly of Iowa, the ranking Republican on the Senate Finance Committee is investigating Hinn and five other televangelists for possible financial misconduct. Could it be that Suzanne Hinn has decided to abandon ship before it sinks? Divorce now and get her share of Pastor Hinn's <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/propertydistribution/f/propertydistr.htm">assets</a> before the IRS is able to step in and stake a claim of their own.<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/23/benny-hinn-to-divorce.htm">Benny Hinn to Divorce</a> originally appeared on <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/">About.com Divorce Support</a> on Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010 at 19:21:19.<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/23/benny-hinn-to-divorce.htm">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/23/benny-hinn-to-divorce.htm#gB3">Comment</a> | <a href="http://divorcesupport.about.com/gi/pages/shareurl.htm?PG=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/23/benny-hinn-to-divorce.htm&zItl=Benny Hinn to Divorce">Email this</a>
Does the Bad Outweigh the Good in Your Marriage?
Have you spent years investing time, effort and energy in your marriage? Is the only return you've gotten on your investment ambivalance? Does it seem that no matter what you do, the bad outweighs the good in your marriage? It may sound cynical but you may need to make a list of pros and cons and decide whether your marriage is worth anymore investment from you. If there are a few good things about your marriage but they are overshadowed by negatives it is time to decide whether or not to let go and move on with your life. I received an email from a woman whose marriage was a mess. She conveyed to me that her husband <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/qt/yelling_verbalabuse.htm">yelled and screamed</a> constantly. That she kept secrets from him out of fear of his reaction. She walked on eggshells and measured every word out of fear of his <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/f/verba_abuse.htm">verbal abuse</a>. Add to that the drinking, cheating, controlling all the money and the fact that he was now verbally abusing their 15-year-old son and I had to wonder why this woman was choosing to stay instead of leave and protect herself and her son. I'm fully aware that some women stay in a bad marriage for the financial security. It is not easy to leave if you don't know where you will go or how you will live. I also know that some men stay in bad marriages for the sake of their relationship with their children. In other words, people stay stuck in a bad marriage due to fear of what will happen if they leave. None of us marry with the goal of living the rest of our lives in an unhappy marriage. Yet, many of us allow fear to keep us from taking the steps we need to to find happiness, either within our marriage or on our own. So, I challenge you to sit down and make a list of pros and cons. Once that list is done if the cons outweigh the pros do something other than live with the idea that you are stuck. That may mean getting you and your spouse into intensive <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/canorshoulditbesaved/qt/marriagecounsel.htm">marital counseling</a>. If that doesn't work it may mean <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/c/ec/1.htm">filing for a divorce</a> and rebuilding and living a more fulfilling life.<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/22/does-the-bad-outweigh-the-good-in-your-marriage.htm">Does the Bad Outweigh the Good in Your Marriage?</a> originally appeared on <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/">About.com Divorce Support</a> on Monday, February 22nd, 2010 at 02:09:47.<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/22/does-the-bad-outweigh-the-good-in-your-marriage.htm">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/22/does-the-bad-outweigh-the-good-in-your-marriage.htm#gB3">Comment</a> | <a href="http://divorcesupport.about.com/gi/pages/shareurl.htm?PG=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/22/does-the-bad-outweigh-the-good-in-your-marriage.htm&zItl=Does the Bad Outweigh the Good in Your Marriage?">Email this</a>
Which is Right for You, Mediation or a Divorce Lawyer?
From: <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/divorceattorneys/a/BelindaRBio.htm">Belinda Rachman</a> The choice of which divorce lawyer to hire is overwhelming. The sheer number of divorce lawyers in the phone book makes your head spin. You have heard the horror stories from your friends about how horrid and expensive their divorce was and you want to avoid that pain but which way should you turn? This is a very natural response to what you have heard and seen. You have enough sense to know divorce lawyers are not your friends so you need to choose carefully. Your future and that of your children depend on how you proceed. Having been a divorce lawyer since 1996 I will tell you the dirty inside secrets and warn you what to look out for. In California and maybe in your own state, divorce lawyers are the ONLY kind of lawyers whose fees are protected, by law, by the equity in their client's home. It is important to know how divorce lawyers in your state are paid and find that out before you begin. Do they have the right to run up huge bills and then slap a lien on your home and force a sale at the end of the case? Over the years I have seen many, many lawyers do everything in their power to keep the case going so they could run up a bill because they knew they were going to get paid. People who advertise themselves as being "aggressive" are playing to your worst instincts. Doesn't everyone want the MOST they can get in their <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/propertydistribution/ht/divagreement.htm">divorce settlement</a>? If so, keep away from aggressive lawyers because ...<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/divorceattorneys/f/Med_Lawyer.htm">post continued</a><a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/18/which-is-right-for-you-mediation-or-a-divorce-lawyer.htm">Which is Right for You, Mediation or a Divorce Lawyer?</a> originally appeared on <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/">About.com Divorce Support</a> on Thursday, February 18th, 2010 at 23:00:59.<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/18/which-is-right-for-you-mediation-or-a-divorce-lawyer.htm">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/18/which-is-right-for-you-mediation-or-a-divorce-lawyer.htm#gB3">Comment</a> | <a href="http://divorcesupport.about.com/gi/pages/shareurl.htm?PG=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/18/which-is-right-for-you-mediation-or-a-divorce-lawyer.htm&zItl=Which is Right for You, Mediation or a Divorce Lawyer?">Email this</a>
Is Your Divorce Attorney Helping or Hindering the Process?
Have you hired a divorce lawyer who is only making the conflict between you and your spouse worse? Are you are wondering how you can reduce the conflict and feel more in control of the situation? <ul> <li>Don't Allow Your Anger to Influence Your Divorce Lawyer: Some divorce lawyers learn that the best way to protect their client is to fight for them and not in a way that promotes an end to conflict. Most divorce warfare is created by the divorce lawyer's adversarial nature and we, as clients, play a role in it because it is what we expect. There are times we let anger win out over reason and this often happens in divorce situations. When dealing with your attorney table any anger you have over the divorce. Be reasonable instead of resentful and your attorney will follow your lead.</li> <li>Take a Collaborative Approach: Explain to your divorce lawyer that you wish to take a collaborative approach to the divorce process. Tell him/her that you want to try to come to a decision on the major issues with your spouse. Your divorce lawyer works for you and should be willing to follow your wishes. If you get resistance you should consider...<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/divorceattorneys/ht/attorneyhowto.htm">post continued</a></li> </ul><a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/16/is-your-divorce-attorney-helping-or-hindering-the-process.htm">Is Your Divorce Attorney Helping or Hindering the Process?</a> originally appeared on <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/">About.com Divorce Support</a> on Tuesday, February 16th, 2010 at 23:00:42.<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/16/is-your-divorce-attorney-helping-or-hindering-the-process.htm">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/16/is-your-divorce-attorney-helping-or-hindering-the-process.htm#gB3">Comment</a> | <a href="http://divorcesupport.about.com/gi/pages/shareurl.htm?PG=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/16/is-your-divorce-attorney-helping-or-hindering-the-process.htm&zItl=Is Your Divorce Attorney Helping or Hindering the Process?">Email this</a>
How To To Keep Divorce Attorney Fees to a Minimum
Finances often top the list of divorce worries, with divorce attorney fees being a major concern. Divorce attorneys usually charge an hourly rate figured in 15 minute increments, even if the service takes only a minute or two of his/her time. If you call every day, your monthly charge just for phone calls can total over $1,000. If the process drags on for a year, you'll pay $12,000 and up just for those brief daily calls. Below are some tips that will help keep down expenses when it comes to legal fees charged by your divorce attorney. 1. Get a written fee agreement. Most <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/hiringtherightattorney/tp/rightattorney.htm">divorce attorneys</a> charge by the hour and require a deposit at the beginning of their service. Fees are then charged against the retainer until it is depleted. When this happens the client becomes responsible for any extra charges incurred. It is imperative that you obtain a written fee agreement that outlines the exact financial terms of the representation. Without one you may find yourself forking out money for hidden expenses or your attorney's daily...<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/divorceattorneys/ht/attorney_fees.htm">post continued</a><a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/15/how-to-to-keep-divorce-attorney-fees-to-a-minimum.htm">How To To Keep Divorce Attorney Fees to a Minimum</a> originally appeared on <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/">About.com Divorce Support</a> on Monday, February 15th, 2010 at 23:00:17.<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/15/how-to-to-keep-divorce-attorney-fees-to-a-minimum.htm">Permalink</a> | <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/15/how-to-to-keep-divorce-attorney-fees-to-a-minimum.htm#gB3">Comment</a> | <a href="http://divorcesupport.about.com/gi/pages/shareurl.htm?PG=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/02/15/how-to-to-keep-divorce-attorney-fees-to-a-minimum.htm&zItl=How To To Keep Divorce Attorney Fees to a Minimum">Email this</a>

process is controlled by the participants.Many people do not realize that not all divorces must end incontested courtroom proceeding.

Generally, once you have embarked on a contested divorceprocess, the types of proceedings from State to State aresimilar, but not identical. You should consult with a lawyer inyour State about the specific process.

The length of your case may depend on the state and county thatyour case is filed in. It often depends on how crowded the courtdocket may be and often may take a year or more. If contested totrial. lawyers can provide sound legal advice and helpyou avoid costly mistakes when your marriage ends. The divorceprocess involves many legal technicalities that can affect yourwell being (as well as your children's) for many years to come.If you are considering a divorce, or if your spouse hasinitiated proceedings, the first thing that you need todo is consult a attorney who specializes in family law.Don't take any action that can affect your rights before seekinglegal counsel. To protect your best interest, don't use the samedivorce lawyer that your husband has retained. You can beginyour search for a lawyer by seeking referrals throughfriends and family, your state bar association, or searching fordivorce lawyers in the directories found on the internet. Lookfor lawyers who are willing to work with you and fight for yourrights.

Once you have identified some potential lawyers, youneed to set up an interview to get information on how your casewill be handled and to see if there is good rapport between youand the lawyer.If you and your spouse can agree on how to divideyour property and settle issues related to your children, youmight consider an filing out your own forms.

For more information on please visit the Divorce resource center.

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