How To Reorganize Your Divorce Life For Happiness?
By Ruben Francia, Fri Dec 9th
Do your dreams, hopes and ambitions shattered by your owndivorce? Do you feel completely worn out of your desire to go onwith your life? Do you feel you have no more purpose orinspiration for life's achievements? You must not let yourself think along these lines. Be positive.Divorce is said to be emotionally painful and recovery from itis terribly hard, but it should not be taken as an end of yourworld. Accept it, learn from it and look at it as an opportunityfor a new beginning for building a better you. Wake up and control your mind. Don't allow yourself to getoverwhelm by your woes. If you cry and feel sorry for yourself,it will only bog down your ability to think clearly.
Don't allow yourself to engage reconciliation fantasies. Let itend and put it to rest. Nothing you do will change it. Instead,build your life to what you want it to be from this momentonward. One of the first steps you need to do is to analyze your presentsituation. Grab a paper, write about your present situation,list down your problems and for each problem, list down youroptions and possible solutions. Don't worry about finding asolution for everything all at once. These activities will notright away change your present situation but will let you seeclearly what your next step ought to be. Focus and don't waste time. You must quickly regain control ofyour life and get on with attaining all your ambitions. You mustreorganize your life for happiness after divorce. You do this by leaving the past behind and learned from it,analyzing your present situation, and making post-divorce planfor your life. You have to decide what you want out of your lifeand how you intend to get what you want. Set realistic goals andtarget dates for attainment. Happiness in life comes from the feeling of inner satisfactionon what you feel with whatever you do. It doesn't come fromharboring grudges, by being alone or by revenge but byforgiveness and by working together for the common good. Indeed, happiness comes from your association and inner-actionwith other people. Thus, following a divorce, you mustimmediately begin mingling with other people and not only beempathetic relative to ways in which you can help them, but alsointerested in them as people. The more you reach out to helpothers, the more help you'll receive in return; and at thebottom line, the greater your own personal happiness. So, for you to attain happiness after a painful divorce, youmust leave the past and learn the lessons they bring; make anassessment of your present situation; have a post-divorce planfor what kind of life you want to have; take actions to achieveyour ambitions; help others and love your life. If you do have children of must that you have toreorganize your post-divorce life quickly. Your children'shappiness and success rest on your shoulder. Never allow yourdivorce to ruin the life of your children. Come to think thatchildren generally fare best when they have the emotionalsupport and ongoing involvement of both parents. So, if you havedifficulty
Ever Wonder How the "Other Woman" Feels?
<p>Dear Cathy,</p>
<p>I was truly offended by your article and description of the <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/theothermanotherwoman/a/othemanotherwoman.htm">"Other Woman"</a> in a marital affair. The Other Woman, truth be told is a wonderful,loving lady. She is caught in a love triangle without knowing.</p>...<p><a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/09/02/ever-wonder-how-the-other-woman-feels.htm">Read Full Post</a></p>
Should a Child be Allowed to Choose Which Parent to Live With After Divorce?
<div><p><strong>Question:</strong></p>
<p>I have two children, my son is twelve and my daughter is six. My husband and I are divorcing and my son wants to live with his father. He told me that the reason he wants to live with his Dad is that he doesn't want him to be lonely.</p>
<p>What is your opinion on allowing a child to live where they want after a divorce? Should I be concerned about him being separated from his sister? Am I wrong to think that my son not wanting his Dad to be lonely isn't a good reason for living with his Dad? Will separating him and his sister have a bad effect on them? Should we consult a therapist before making a final decision?</p></div>...<p><a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/09/02/should-a-child-be-allowed-to-choose-which-parent-to-live-with-after-divorce.htm">Read Full Post</a></p>
Can My Wife Take The Children If She Leaves?
<div><strong>Question: </strong>Can My Wife Take The Children If She Leaves?</div>
<div><p>My wife says she is leaving and taking our children. Can she legally take my children with her when she leaves?</p></div>
<p><strong>Answer: </strong></p>...<p><a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/09/01/can-my-wife-take-the-children-if-she-leaves.htm">Read Full Post</a></p>
Divorce Advice for Women
<p>From: <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/divorceattorneys/a/ThydenGrossBio.htm">James J. Gross</a></p>
<p>Once you decide you are going to get a divorce, there are eleven things you can do to get ready:</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Start a War Chest:</strong>
<p>You are going to need your own money for a divorce. You will have to be able to maintain yourself and your children for a while if you are dependent on your spouse and your spouse decides to cut off support.</p>
<p>You will also probably need funds to hire a <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/divorceadvicepolls/a/adviceforwomen.htm">lawyer</a>. If there is anyway to start a separate account to guard against future financial contingencies, now is the time to do it. If you have to borrow money from a relative or friend, be sure to sign a promissory note so the court will look at this as a loan that you have to repay and not as a gift.</p></li>
<li><strong>Keep a Divorce Calendar:</strong>
<p>If you are currently using a desk calendar or day planner, you will now need to include your divorce events. There will be meetings with your lawyer and court deadlines to keep track of. It may be helpful to keep...<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/divorceadvicepolls/a/adviceforwomen.htm">post continued</a></p></li>
</ol>
Divorce Advice for Men
<p>From: <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/divorceattorneys/a/ThydenGrossBio.htm">James J. Gross</a></p>
<p>There are a lot of important actions that men can take to protect themselves in a divorce. Below are eleven things for you to consider regarding specific financial matters:</p>...<p><a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/08/30/divorce-advice-for-men.htm">Read Full Post</a></p>
Can Spending Too Much Time Together Lead to Divorce?
<p>My ex had no outside interest. His life revolved around family and work. If he wasn't at work, every time I turned around I bumped into him. I encouraged him to take up<a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://golf.about.com/od/beginners/a/faq_beginners.htm"> golf</a>, go our for drinks with his buddies...anything that would give him to opportunity to get away from work and <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://stress.about.com/od/familystress/qt/family.htm">family stress</a>. We spent too much time together which in the end played a role in the demise of our marriage.</p>...<p><a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/08/24/can-spending-too-much-time-together-lead-to-divorce.htm">Read Full Post</a></p>
Top 10 Causes of Marital Problems
<p>Below is a list of common sources of marital stress and conflict; consider how you are currently dealing with these issues, and how you could better deal with these issues:</p>...<p><a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/08/23/top-10-causes-of-marital-problems.htm">Read Full Post</a></p>
Zsa Zsa Gabor: Nine Times Married, Eight Times Divorced
<p>To say that Zsa Zsa Gabor has experience with divorce is an understatement. She also had unique views (for her time) about how women should stand up for themselves in divorce and everyday life.</p>...<p><a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/08/17/zsa-zsa-gabor-nine-times-married-eight-times-divorced.htm">Read Full Post</a></p>
New York Goes No-Fault
<p>Governor David Patterson signed a bill passing <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/maritalproblems/i/nofault_fault.htm">no-fault divorce law</a> for the state of New York. The new bill will allow couples to divorce by mutual consent or unilaterally.</p>
<p>Governor Paterson said in a statement. "These bills fix a broken process that produced extended and contentious litigation, poisoned feelings between the parties and harmed the interests of those persons -- too often women -- who did not have sufficient financial wherewithal to protect their legal rights. I commend the sponsors on providing a real and effective legislative solution to a problem that has for too long bedeviled ordinary New Yorkers."</p>...<p><a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/08/16/new-york-goes-no-fault.htm">Read Full Post</a></p>
How to File For Divorce Without an Attorney
<p>To begin the <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/yourlegalrights/a/pro_se.htm">Pro Se</a> or "do it yourself," divorce process a document called <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/%20od/thedivorceprocess/ss/divorceprocess_2.htm">Original Petition for Divorce</a> is filed with your local <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/%20od/thefamilycourtsystem/f/courtpersonnel.htm">court clerk</a> and legally begins the <a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/%20od/thedivorceprocess/ss/divorceprocess.htm">process of divorce</a>. In some states, this is referred to as a "Letter of Complaint." Both documents are requests that the court grant a divorce and list any relief the party filing for divorce feels they are due. The original petition or letter of complaint will identify the parties to the divorce and any children they may have.</p>...<p><a href="http://clk.about.com/?zi=1/1hc&zu=http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2010/08/12/how-to-file-for-divorce-without-an-attorney.htm">Read Full Post</a></p>
relating to your former spouse then read your freecopy of my ebook "8 Essential Steps to Cooperative Parenting andDivorce." Just visit my website and get the said ebook for free. Your happiness will be complete when you see your children growsuccessful. But post-divorce situation posts a differentparenting challenge. To be able to raise successful divorcedchildren you must equip yourself learning appropriate divorceparenting practices. It will be a great help if you have on yourside a parenting guide. If you want to discover how toraise happy, healthy and successful divorced children, visit mywebsite and get a copy of "101 Ways to Raise Your DivorcedChildren to Success" ebook. Again, it's a matter of getting on with your life, forgettingabout the past and moving positively towards the things that youwant in life. With the above information, I hope you will reorganize yourpost-divorce life for your happiness and your children'ssuccess. Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved. Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this articleelectronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, freeof charge, as long as the author's information and web link areincluded at the bottom of the article. The web link should beactive when the article is reprinted on a web site or in anemail. Minor edits and alterations are acceptable so long asthey do not distort or change the content of the article. About the author:Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable parentingguide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced'Children To Success". Get his other ebook for FREE, "8 EssentialSteps to Cooperative Parenting and Divorce." Visit his web siteat http://www.101divorceparenting.com |
